Don't Let Go
by s0ur-apple
Summary: Jessica met Jeff Hardy one day and it changed her life....she's been with him through the good and the bad...and the bad just seems to keep getting worse.
1. The Beginning

/Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story that you've heard of before./

Jeff Hardy had came into my life as no one else had ever before. I first met him by accident, as we were put into the same locker room by mistake.

_FLASHBACK_

After I was out of the conference room, I put on my walkman. I walked down the hall looking for the locker room I had been told to go to. I walked into the room, put down my bags and went to go take a shower. Since I had my walkman on loud, I hadn't heard the shower. I got undressed, grabbed a towel, and walked into the washroom. I walked in the door to find none other than Jeff Hardy coming out of the shower.

"Damn!" I exclaimed. "I am so sorry!"

I slowly backed out of the room and closed the door. Jeff emerged from the washroom a few minutes later, fully clothed.

"Why are you in my locker room?" I questioned.

"This is my locker room!" was his answer.

"Let's go clear this up then!" I suggested.

We went up to an agent and told him the situation. He checked the locker room list and found that we both were accidentally put in the same room. He offered to switch one of us to another room, but Jeff quickly spoke up.

"No," Jeff replied. "That's alright." We both walked down to the locker room and once inside, formally introduced ourselves.

"I'm Jessica Williams," I told him.

"And, I'm Jeffrey Hardy." he replied.

_End of FLASHBACK_

It had been almost a year since that day and we had been together ever since. Through many ups and downs, we overcame whatever was in our way. Recently had been one of the worst times ever for us. There had been a little incident between me and Adam, and Jeff and Amy that had gotten a tad out of hand.

_FLASHBACK (part 2)_

After a night of excess drinking, things had gotten out of hand. Pictures were found, people were hurt, and relationships were shaky. Jeff and I were in a deep discussion regarding the previous day's events.

"Jeff," I said. "You know that what happened last night didn't mean a thing. We were all drunk, we didn't even know what we were doing. So you saw a picture of me with Adam and your pissed off because of it."

"Of course I am!" exclaimed Jeff. "How can you expect me not to be. You were with someone else! You don't know how much this is tearing me up inside. Everyday since I've been with you I've worried about you when I'm not around. You're so beautiful and whenever I'm out with you I see the way other guys look at you. Before I met you, I had just broken up with my girlfriend, Beth. I never got to see her, since I was on the road so much. All the while I was away from her I worried about her. But, in time, I stopped having feelings for her and I knew I had to break it off. I knew I couldn't tell her I stopped loving her, so I told her I had met someone else. That way she'd still feel loved, but she would just think I'm a jerk. When I first met you in that locker room, I just fell in love. I couldn't help it, I mean look at you. You're a wonderful person, inside and out. I couldn't let you go after that. Then, when you met my friends, they all fell in love with you. They saw in you, what I saw. I've forgiven you for all that happened, we were happy. I thought everything was perfect, then something like this has to go and happen. You and Adam. I can't help but not be hurt by this Jessica. I love you!"

"And you think I'm not hurt?" I cried. "Seeing that picture of you with Amy, that broke my heart. I love you so much, possibly more than you could ever know. We were all drunk last night, me especially. I told you I never liked drinking! I told you the ways it tore up my family and my life. I told you about what happened to me in high school. I hate drinking! It messed up my life in so many ways. All the things that happened in the past seemed so far away. Since I met you, I've been so happy and everything is going great. I have good friends, a great job, and a boyfriend I love more than anything. Last night we were all having fun, you guys wanted some wine, and so we ordered it. You guys all started drinking and you guys seemed to be having so much fun. So, even though I thought it was wrong, I had a bit to drink. And then a little more. I was thinking that since everything in my life was so perfect, nothing bad could happen. I thought than after everything that has happened in my life, that things couldn't get any worse than it has been. I was totally wrong. The worse possible thing came out of this whole incident. I might lose the love of my life! After all that has happened to me I don't know what I'm suppose to do! Today, after I found those pictures, I couldn't even look at Amy. I couldn't believe what I had seen in the picture. Now I realize that we were drunk, but even still it hurts. It hurts to not know what happened after that. I don't know what I did last night and that tears me up inside. Jeff! I love you and you're the only one I ever want to be with. I know nothing I say can make up for all the things that have come up between us. But if I lose you Jeff, nothing else will matter!" By this time, tears were running down my face and I was shaking.

"Jessica," Jeff began, as he tried to steady me. "I love you more than I could ever say in words. I know that last night we were all drunk and had absolutely no idea what we were doing. It still hurts that I know something happened between you and Adam. But what hurts even more, if the fact that I don't know exactly what happened. You have to know Jessica, I'm not mad at you! But I am so confused right now about this whole situation."

Matt, Amy, Adam, Jay, Billy, Torrie, Trish, John, Stacy, Molly, Jeff and I gathered in the room Jeff and I had rented. I made this huge speech about how we were all drunk and how nothing that happened last night meant anything; then after my speech, everyone made up.

We all were still feeling kind of uncomfortable, so everyone sort of drifted off and went back to their rooms. Jeff and I stayed in our room and so did Matt and Amy, but everyone else left.

I sighed once they were all gone and fell back onto the bed, "This has been one hell of a day."

"No kidding!" replied Amy. "I think we're all gonna need some mighty good therapy after this adventure."

"Mmmmhmmm," I mumbled, half-asleep.

"We're gonna go," whispered Matt, as him and Amy headed for the door. Jeff nodded in agreement and went to lock the hotel door behind them. He fell back onto the bed, as I sleepily rolled onto him, smushed my lips to his, and fell asleep on his chest. The last thing I heard was Jeff snicker softly, as the drowsiness took over.

/A.N -Sorry bout this chapter...its kinda just an intro...next one will be better i promise/


	2. Chapter 2

/Disclaimer - Same as before don't own nothing...wish I did though./

_Present_

"Jessicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," I heard from the bathroom.

"WHAT!" I screamed back, from the kitchen.

"I la-la-la-love you!" Jeff exclaimed, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I love you, too darling," I laughed. "But I need to tell you that you're crazy."

"Just like my baby," replied Jeff, with a cheesy grin. He kissed my neck, and I moaned in pleasure.

"Jeff," I began. "I'm trying to make you breakfast. You don't wan-"

"Awwww, baby" Jeff pouted. "I can't help myself around you. I mean look at you." He rubbed a cheek across the nape of my neck and I shuddered at the scruffy sensation. I turned around to face Jeff.

"Mmmmmm," I murmured, moving into Jeff's embrace. "Boy, you don't know what you do to me."

"Maybe not," he answered. "But I know what I'd like to do." I giggled, as Jeff began kissing my neck again. I was completely lost in the moment, until I felt this sickening feeling from inside my stomach. I pushed Jeff away, and ran to the bathroom. I threw up, and when I returned to the kitchen Jeff gave me an inquisitive look. I just shrugged it off, but the mood from before was lost. We stood at opposite ends of the kitchen for a few moments before it dawned on me.

"Oh shit!" I cried out. "The food!" I ran to the stove only to find black chunks of eggs and bacon remaining. Not only that but, the toaster had burnt the toast. There wasn't even a way to salvage the remains.

"Well," said Jeff, optimistically. "Denny's it is." And I laughed, _he always knew what to say_.

It was a week later, that I finally got a chance to go to the doctor. I had been throwing up every morning, since the breakfast fiasco. As I waited on Doctor Patterson, I glanced around his office. It was neatly kept, reminded me of my doctor from my childhood. Just as I was wishing Jeff was here, he was out with Matt, Dr. Patterson walked in. I smiled as he took his seat across from me.

"Well, Ms. Williams," he began. "You say you've been having this sickness in the mornings for the past week?"

"Yes, sir," I replied, feeling like a child all over again.

"Okay…" he pondered for a moment, glancing at his notes. "Well as you know we ran some tests on you today, and we usually don't get back the results for a couple of days. But with you we had these results processed immediately. So let me be the first to tell you, congratulations Ms. Williams, you're pregnant!" I sat across from him in shock for a few seconds, before it actually sank in.

"I'm what?" I looked on in amazement.

"You're pr-" Dr. Patterson started.

"I heard you, I was just -still am -in shock." I blinked, trying to clear my head.

"Well this is a blessing, Ms. Williams," he said. "I'm sure you're husband will be thrilled when he finds out." I nodded, only half-conscious to the rest of that conversation/visit. I left that office shaking my head, and only when I reached my car do it completely hit me. _I was pregnant!_

I called Jeff's cell before I started up the car, but his machine picked up immediately. "Jeff…" I stammered into the machine. "Come home, I need to talk to you, now!" I closed my phone, started the engine, and headed towards the house. My cell phone rang on my way home and as I went to answer it, I knocked it to the floor. I quickly reached a hand down taking my eyes off the road only for a second, but it was a second too long as I looked up to find a blue pickup hurdling towards me. The last thing I heard was my piercing scream and the crunching metal.

/A.N- Short chap., I know, but lemme know if you like it./


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N -**Same disclaimer as before

_That blue pick-up haunted my dreams, it preoccupied my nightmares. I knew it had some other meaning, if only I could figure out what it was. My restless sleep became obcessed with the previous event, replaying over and over until one day I saw nothing._

My eyelids opened slightly, and as a sliver of sunlight glared through the crack I quickly shut my eyes. I groaned softly, as the pain began to emerge and, blinked my eyes several times in order to adjust to the bright lights filling my room. I heard someone say, "She's awake!" and I think it was Billy, but when I looked towards the sound all I saw was at least a half dozen doctors and nurses rushing towards me. I laid my head back and tried to wish the pain away.

About a half hour later I was alone again, and the bits of information I heard I began piecing together.

"Crash…."  
"-other two not doing so well."  
"This one's lucky to be alive."  
"Shattered wrist…fractured collarbone…a couple broken ribs…a concussion…and a lot of cuts and bruises."

I shook my head at it all, wishing it was all a dream. As I heard the door open, my thoughts turned to Jeff. I looked up expectantly, only to find Amy and Billy walk through the door. They rushed over to my bed both talking at once, but they stopped once they saw the confused look on my face. Amy's face fell.

"She doesn't know," she turned to Billy, then looked back down to me. "Oh honey, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry."

"Sorry about what…?" I questioned. "What's going on? Where's Jeff? Amy? Billy? Answer me."

"Jessica," Billy said softly, taking my hand into his. "Honey…I don't know how to put this." He exchanged glances with Amy.

"Well find a way!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Jess," Amy whispered. "That truck that hit you, it was Matt's truck. Him and Jeff were inside, and when they saw your car they turned and tried to get out the way, you hit the side and they went directly into a tree on the side of the road. They're here, honey, in the hospital, but they haven't woken up yet." I started sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. Amy leaned down to comfort me, but I screamed at her and Billy to get out. She turned and gave me a sad look, before she left the room, as I lay there and let the tears just fall.  
I stayed in that room, in that bed for another week before I was allowed to leave. During that time I hadn't said a word to anyone, I refused all company and visitors. When they finally let me leave, Amy was by my side and I only said one word to her, "Where?"

"Third floor, first door to your right."

Amy road up the elevator with me, and walked behind me as I slowly made my way towards room 321. I turned the handle to the door and it creaked as I lightly pushed it open. The sight I saw next nearly broke my heart. The room contained two beds, a chair between the two and another on the outer sides of the bed, on the beds lay two of the most important men in my life, hooked up to a bunch of wires, barely breathing. A hand came to my mouth, as my heart sank and I dropped to my knees in the doorway. I covered my hands in my face and silently wept on the floor.

The nurse cam up to Amy, who was still behind me and asked if I was alright. "Just leave her," Amy told her. "She needs this."

I eventually got up off the floor and ran a hand through my hair. I walked to Jeff's bedside quietly and softly , as if not to disturb them. But as I took Jeff's hand in mine a thought came to my head, _What about the baby?_

I turned to Amy and said, "What about the baby?"

She looked at me, not saying anything for awhile. She pursed her lips together and sighed. "Jessica, I'm sorry but it's gone."

I sank into the chair between the beds, unable to cry anymore. The tears had fell so much this past week I was now unable to cry. I just sat there, with a blank expression on my face, willing Matt and Jeff to get up. I was there as the hours turned into days, and then weeks, not moving from their sides, with that same expression in tact.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer -** Still don't own nothing you've heard of.

At around two weeks from the time I entered that room, Matt awoke into consciousness.  
He looked around the dimly lit room, at Amy asleep to the side of him, before fixating his eyes upon me at his other side.

"Jessy Bessy?" he mumbled softly. "Owww, my head." I gave him a small smile as I walked around to shake Amy awake.

All I heard before I went to get a doctor was, "Omg, Matt! I love you, don't ever do that again."

I told the nurse about the current events in room 321 and a doctor was quickly paged. After examining Matt, his synopsis was somewhat similar to mine, with basically no permanent damage done. However, the same could not be said for Jeff. That was around the time we were told that if he didn't wake up soon, we might not ever get him back.

I continued day by day to stay at his bedside, only leaving when Matt or Amy dragged me away to shower and change clothes, while the other remained with Jeff. I refused to let him stay by himself. One, two months passed and there was still no change in Jeff's condition. Some of the doctors were starting to give up hope, but I would never leave his side.

Matt sat with me one night, holding my hand in his. "Jessica, you need rest. You can't keep putting yourself through this day by day. It's not healthy."

"Matt," I looked at him through bloodshot eyes. "I cannot leave his side. He needs me to be here. He's gonna get better. He's gonna make it through this."

"Jess," Matt said, solemnly. "I've known Jeff all his life and know him probably better than anyone else, and I know his is a fighter. He's overcome so many things in his life and taken so many chances, it still amazes me. But, Jessica," he paused, taking in deep breath, "as strong as Jeff is, I don't know if he'll be able to overcome this."

"Matt!" I cried. "How can you say that? He'll be fine…Matt…he'll be fine…he has to be…"

Matt took me in his arms, trying to calm me down. My whole body was numb, so that I couldn't even feel it shaking. I fell asleep in Matt's arms that night and then next morning I awoke to voices, Matt's and a doctor's. I kept my eyes closed as I listened to what they were discussing.

"-but Mr. Hardy, you have to make a decision. Do you want to keep him alive and hooked up to these machines in order to live, or did you want to pull the plug and let God's will take over from there."

I almost cried out, but I tried to hold my composure, and continued to listen.

"With all due respect," Matt said. "That decision isn't only mine to make. So just leave for now."

"Well, I do hope you come to a decision soon, sir." the doctor replied. "Sooner, rather than later."

I opened my eyes, to see a flash of white exiting the room. Matt looked down at me as I stretched a little and gave me an attempted smile. "You heard that didn't you."

I nodded.

"I'm sorry." Matt apologized. "You didn't need to hear that."

I sighed, looking at the calendar that hung above Jeff's bed. It had been almost five months since the accident, Matt and I were doing great, if only Jeff would come around.

"Matt," I said, slowly. "What if he's right? What if we're just keeping Jeff here only to be hooked up to machines for the rest of his life. I mean what if were the ones being selfish, keeping him here on earth when he's supposed to be doing bigger and better things? Like, we could be holding him back from his destiny, just because we can't let go." I ran a hand through my hair, something I had been doing a lot recently.

Matt tilted his head to look at me, not sure of what to say. After a few moments, the words came to him. "Jessica, I know how much you love my brother. I can see it in your eyes everyday. So with that I'm telling you, that what ever you decide to do about Jeff, I will fully support your decision."

I sat in that room the next couple days, thinking over everything. Life and death. Wishing I could at least understand something. Nevertheless, three days after my conversation with Matt, my decision was made. At 8:30am, the following Monday, Jeffery Nero Hardy was to be taken off life support.

For the rest of the week after Matt and I had told the doctors my decision, I was a complete nervous wreck. I had changed my mind about that decision so many times, the words started to lose all meaning to me. Also, during that week more people came to visit Jeff, than I have seen passing through an airport. It was clear that he was loved, so why was he being taken away.

Sunday night, after Matt and Amy left for the night, I closed the door and sat next to Jeff's bed in the dark. A pale moonlight filled the room, and I sat there, the only sound other than my breathing was Jeff's machines. I took Jeff's left hand in mine and tears were falling. As I caressed his warm, well-worn hand, I began to speak.

"Oh, Jeff. This can't be happening. What am I supposed to do, I can't handle losing you. I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I would've loved you better if only I had known. I wish it had been easier, but that won't happen now. I can't find a reason to let go of you, and I know I don't want to Jeff. I know you're stronger than this, you can pull through. You HAVE to pull through. I need you in my life, I don't know what I'd do with out you by my side. You're so crazy and insane, but I still love all of you with every little bit of my heart. We were supposed to have a family, Jeff, I was pregnant. We were going to have a baby. I was so excited and nervous to tell you, but I never even got a chance. You were both taken away from me so fast. I've lost a baby, I can't take losing you too. Jeff! Wake up, please. Heaven has enough angels up there, I need you, my angel here on earth. I want to watch you soar without wings again, defying all odds. Baby, I love you so much and this has been tearing my up inside. I don't eat, I hardly sleep, and I haven't left your side in months. Is this not enough? How much more do I need to prove I need you here with me…I don't know what else I am to do, Jeff. I…I…I just don't know…" I closed my eyes for a second. "Jeff, what about the plans we had, what you promised. How can you take it all back? You promised" I cried. "YOU PROMISED!"

I put my head down n the edge of Jeff's bed, never letting go of his hand. I was awoken the next morning by Matt's gentle shaking.

"Jess," he said. "It's almost 8, I think you may want to get up."

Sighing, I got up, and let Jeff's hand slip out of mine. I walked to the sink, in the adjacent bathroom and washed my face. I didn't bother looking in the mirror. I did not want to see my pain stricken face. Walking back out into the room, I saw Matt sitting by Jeff's side, whispering to him, with tear-filled eyes. I stayed back, watching careful not to interrupt. Amy from behind, wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and we looked on as we let Matt say goodbye. Amy was next to go, and although she was only in there a short time, I'm sure she found peace in what she had to say. As Amy emerged from the room, I couldn't help but regret what I was doing. I walked into the room, stood at the end of the bed, and looked down at Jeff. He was peaceful, but then something inside me snapped.

"No, no, no!" I screamed. "I changed my mind. Leave him alone. Let him stay! I can't do this."

"Jess," Matt put his arms around me. "Calm down."

"No Matt!" I replied. "I can't do it, it's not right. I love him so much!"

"I know you do, honey." Matt smiled. "And Jeff does too. Just remember, whatever happens next is God's will."

With that the doctors began coming in the room, getting ready for this to take place. I watched in awe as wires were taken out and machines turned off. At the stroke of 8:30 am, Jeff was taken off his ventilator, and I cried out a soft, "No!" We all looked on, I had expect Jeff to pull through. As the seconds passed and nothing happened, I turned and collapsed into Matt.

**A/N** - Don't hate me just yet...lol...just wait til the next chap...and don't forget to review.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer **- I only own non-famous, unknowns : )..lol

**/A/N** - See it was a quick update, and I had to write after the reviews I got, you guys are awesome. Keep it up. Hope you like this./

Just as the clock turned to 8:31am, I heard a small noise almost like a gasp. Others had heard it too, and as we all turned to face the body that lay upon the bed, we saw the slight movement that brought tears to my eyes. Only this time they were tears of joy, Jeff was breathing. He was awake.

The doctors quickly rushed to Jeff's aid, as Matt, Amy, and I were ushered out of the room. It was more important that they take care of him now. As we waited, sitting in those rigid, red chairs, I couldn't help but smile the entire time. I hadn't even noticed Matt was talking until he shook me gently.

"Jess?" Matt questioned. "Are you even listening to me?"

"No," I replied, still smiling.

"Well that's nothing new," he retorted.

"Oh shush, Matthew." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Must you too always be like this?" Amy input.

"But of course," I answered, smiling. "And we wouldn't have it any other way."

We continued to sit there talking and we were so absorbed in our own little conversation that we hadn't noticed the doctor that had been standing over us for quite some time. He had finally gained our attention by clearing his throat.

I tilted my head up in the doctor's direction and gave a questioning glance.

"Can we see Jeff now?" Matt enquired.

"Uhh…yes." the doctor replied, hesitantly.

"Great," I stated, starting to stand up.

"Umm, miss?" the doctor stopped me. "There is something I need to tell you before you see Mr. Hardy."

I sat back down and gave Amy and Matt a worried look. As we gazed back up towards the doctor, he began.

"Well, I don't know if you know this or not, but your brain is divided into basically three parts known as the cerebrum, the cerebellum, and the brainstem. The cerebrum controls our body's mental and sensory functions, while the cerebellum controls thing like coordination, posture and balance, and the brainstem controls basic body functions like breathing, blood pressure, etc." He paused, looking down at us to comment. When we didn't say anything we continued. "Well usually when one comes out of the comatose state they may or may not have problems with one or all of these parts. It usually depends how long the patient has been like that. And since Mr. Hardy has been comatose for awhile, it is not abnormal that his body is reacting like it is."

I closed my eyes. "So what is wrong?" I asked, almost in a whisper.

The doctor sighed. "Considering the length of time Mr. Hardy was in that state, his body seems to be functioning reasonably well. Other than the mild cuts and bruises, and a little fracture, he seems physically competent. However, during his time unconscious, his cerebrum seems to have shut down and is now having problems resuming its normal state."

"Could you please get to the point, " Matt pleaded with the doctor.

"Umm…yes, sorry." The young doctor looked flustered. "Well, as I said before his psychical components are fine but I'm sorry to tell you this but Mr. Hardy seems to have lost his short-term memory."

My eyes opened wide at this. "So what does that mean?"

"Well, basically, it means that Mr. Hardy does not remember the accident, but he remembers everything before it. But it is worse than that. He will now have a hard time retaining new information. We have a few more tests to run before we will know if this is permanent of not, and just how long Mr. Hardy can retain the information given to him." The doctor brushed a fallen hair out of his eye and cleared his throat again.

The doctor turned to leave, but before he departed he said, "You're free to go see him whenever you choose to. And good luck."

I sank down in my chair, leaned my head back and thought, _What next?_


End file.
